The Fucks Given Scale

A scientific measurement of how much you care

The Fucks Given (FG) scale is a simple yet powerful way to communicate how much something matters to you, ranging from 0 (couldn't care less) to 5 (matters immensely).

FG 5: Maximum Fucks Given

This matters deeply to you. You're willing to invest significant time, energy, and resources. Example: Your wedding day, career-defining presentation, or health of loved ones.

FG 4: Many Fucks Given

You care quite a bit. While not life-altering, this is important to you. Example: Your work performance review or maintaining close friendships.

FG 3: Moderate Fucks Given

You care enough to put in some effort, but won't lose sleep over it. Example: Keeping your home tidy or staying up-to-date with current events.

FG 2: Few Fucks Given

You're aware of it, but it barely registers on your radar. Example: Your neighbor's choice of garden gnomes or celebrity gossip.

FG 1: Zero Fucks Given

Complete and utter indifference. If this disappeared tomorrow, you wouldn't notice or care. Example: The dating life of reality TV stars or your ex's new haircut.

FG 0: The Absence of Fucks

A complete void of caring. You're not even indifferent - you've transcended the very concept of giving a fuck. This isn't just not caring, it's operating on a plane of existence where caring isn't even possible. Example: The political dynamics of ants in your neighbor's yard or the favorite color of someone you've never met.

Usage Example

"How much do you care about this meeting?"

"I'm FG 4 on this one - it's with an important client."